Beyond the Code: Reflections on Purpose, Perfection, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Building a platform can be intensely consuming. Sometimes, it's good to step back, take a breath, and reflect on the broader strokes of life and purpose. Consider this post a "palette cleanser" – a moment away from the technicalities to ponder on what truly drives us, and perhaps, what true fulfillment looks like.

My thoughts often drift to figures who have undeniably shaped the world: visionaries like Steve Jobs, the relentless innovator behind Apple; the audacious and controversial Elon Musk, pushing boundaries in space and sustainable energy; and the formidable Isaac Newton, a genius whose uncompromising standards laid the groundwork for modern physics. I find myself admiring a part of these individuals, and relating to the very traits that often made them difficult to deal with. While some of their choices are questionable, their accomplishments speak for themselves. You have to give credit where credit is due, right?

The Uncompromising Drive of Geniuses

While I certainly don't associate myself to their level of genius, I can relate to certain aspects of their personalities. There's a shared thread of perfectionism – an almost obsessive need for things to be precisely right, to meet an internal standard that often seems unattainable to others. This comes hand-in-hand with an uncompromising standard for quality and execution. It's not enough for something to be good; it must be exceptional, flawless.

Then there's the intense focus and having a one-track mind. When these individuals set their sights on a problem, the world around them seems to fade. Distractions are minimized, and all energy is channeled into solving that singular challenge. This kind of dedication, while incredibly powerful for achieving breakthroughs, can also lead to them being perceived as aloof or even arrogant. Their stubbornness in the face of conventional wisdom or opposition, coupled with a certain sense of superiority born from their unique insights, often makes them misunderstood people. It's like they're living in a different frequency away from the 99% of people.

The Elusive Pursuit of Happiness

As I read about the lives of these individuals I admire, a recurring thought emerges: I don't sense that they are necessarily happy in the conventional sense. They are undeniably busy, often to an extreme degree, driven by an internal fire that leaves little room for conventional contentment. And I know, you're probably already thinking about it, "As if you could change the world," and I cannot blame you (and please forgive me for the hubris in even contemplating such a comparison).

It's a common observation that when people in such high-impact positions are confronted with the question, "Are you happy?", they are often stunned, suddenly analyzing it as if it's a foreign concept, something they haven't actively considered amidst their relentless pursuits. Their lives are defined by creation, problem-solving, and pushing boundaries, not by the direct pursuit of joy.

This brings to mind a profound observation from the TV series "The Gilded Age", which beautifully encapsulates a philosophical truth:

"Happiness as a byproduct of a well-ordered life may last. As a goal, it is invariably doomed to failure."

This idea, famously articulated by the English philosopher John Stuart Mill (1806-1873), suggests that the direct pursuit of happiness is indeed a fool's errand. Mill, a proponent of utilitarianism, argued that happiness is best found indirectly. Instead of fixating on happiness as a primary objective, one should focus on cultivating a meaningful life, engaging in noble pursuits, fostering genuine relationships, and contributing to the greater good. It implies that aligning one's actions with deeply held values, striving for personal growth, and dedicating oneself to worthy causes leads to a more profound and lasting sense of well-being than simply chasing fleeting moments of joy. Happiness, in this view, isn't something you catch; it's something that emerges as a natural consequence of living a life of purpose.

Acknowledging Privilege: The Unseen Hand of Fortune

As I reflect on these grand ideas of purpose and the relentless drive of world-changers, it's crucial for me to acknowledge a fundamental truth: the immense role of privilege and luck in my own journey. While I dedicate a part of myself to building QFlowPro.com and strive for excellence, I recognize that I have the profound luxury to choose the things I want to do in life. I can, quite literally, simply sit in a cafe, as I am doing now in this very moment, sipping coffee, choosing to not work, and instead, think about life's deeper questions. This freedom, this ability to pause and reflect, is a privilege many do not share.

Even though I didn't come from a wealthy family, I am incredibly thankful for the opportunities I was afforded. I was given a quality education, a foundational advantage that opened countless doors. Furthermore, I was born into an age where computer science was highly valuable ("was" being the operative word, a topic for another future journal, perhaps). This timing, this fortunate alignment of personal interest with market demand, played an undeniably important role. And crucially, I was young when I realized this was my passion, allowing me to pursue it with conviction, whereas a lot of people in my batch just went with the flow, uncertain of their path.

Yes, I've worked hard – incredibly hard at times. But I would argue that a lot of people work hard too, often much harder, to simply survive, yet they don't have the liberties I'm enjoying. They don't have the option to pursue a passion project like a QMS, or to take a reflective break in a cafe. This realization isn't meant to diminish personal effort, but rather to underscore the silent, often invisible, role that luck and circumstance play in shaping our opportunities and freedoms. It's a humbling thought that keeps perspective.

I don't see privilege or entitlement as a bad thing, but a fact of life that one mustn't take for granted. By recognizing the specific advantages we possess: whether they be in education, wealth, opportunity, or simply a safe upbringing, we can better appreciate the resources we have at our disposal and the struggles others may face.

The Master of "In-Between's": A Life of Moderation and Balance

I'd like to believe that I have lived, and am still living, a meaningful life. My aspirations are more modest than those world-changers, yet equally significant to me: I simply wish to leave the world a little bit better than when I entered it, in my own small ways. Building this service, for instance, is one such way – simplifying a common frustration, even if it's just for a few small businesses.

I think I am a master of "in-between's," as I've always lived like this. I've consciously chosen a life of moderation and slowing down, continuously striving for a balance across extreme ends. This isn't a life of grand, all-consuming passions that leave no room for anything else. Instead, it's about finding the sweet spot between intense work and restorative rest, between ambitious goals and appreciating the present, between intellectual pursuits and emotional well-being. Do I always succeed? Certainly, not. But I recognize that even if extreme focus can yield extraordinary results, it often comes at a cost that not everyone is willing or able to pay.

This path, while deeply fulfilling for me, can sometimes be frustrating for those around me. I recall my aunt, with genuine concern, once asking, "Why don't you still have children?" In my mind, it's like asking a seasoned chef why their slow-cooked masterpiece isn't ready in five minutes. Some of life's most profound decisions, especially those involving intricate family dynamics and personal evolution, unfold at their own pace. It might feel incredibly slow to others, but I trust that eventually, I will arrive at my own unique destination, in my own time. Even if I don't, I have a personal litmus test that has saved me countless times from falling into a trap: "If I have only a week or a month to live, will I regret this decision?" This question cuts through external pressures and helps align my choices with my deepest values, ensuring authenticity in my journey.

To those who also navigate this path, who live a life of "in-between," I want you to know that you are not alone. It's my greatest hope that you feel at least half-understood by those you care about, and I'm deeply grateful to have a few people in my life who do.

Concluding Thoughts: Purpose Over Pursuit, and Gratitude

Ultimately, this reflection reinforces that while the drive for perfection and intense focus can be powerful tools in development (and life), the true measure of a life well-lived might not be in the direct attainment of happiness as a goal, but in the meaningfulness of the journey itself. For me, that means continuing to build the service with dedication, solving real problems, and finding contentment in the process, knowing that happiness will follow as a natural byproduct. And with that, comes a profound sense of gratitude for the unseen advantages that have paved my way, allowing me the freedom to pursue this path.

Thank you for joining me on this non-technical detour. Back to the code next time!